ROOOOOOAAAAARRRR! I mean, *sniffle*

Women hate each other. That’s just the way it is.  Why? I don’t know…I sure didn’t learn to hate women from my mother.  She was my favorite woman.

Where in our DNA is the hater gene? Why must we revel in being thinner, or wearing more expensive clothing or hitting higher notes? Why can’t we form a united front so that this country, this world, can learn that WOMAN is a force to be reckoned with?! My very first best friends were boys. There are many reasons this might be: shortage of girls, the fact that I was a flirt at, well, birth, I’ve always been a tomboy in disguise, etc. All I know is that, though the word wasn’t made popular until this decade, I understood the concept of a “frienemy” a long time ago. Too long ago. I decided a few years back that I was no longer allowed to be one of the woman who go around saying things like: “I don’t do females,”  or calling another woman out of her name because she’s assertive, or drove me crazy, meanwhile, fighting and screaming at the men who do the same<humans learn from observation, psychology 101>. I saw that this was a real problem and it started to make me sick to my stomach when I saw that sisterhood was something that was defined only by blood. I prayed about it. This may sound dorky, but I prayed: God please open me to learn more about women and learn to love all that is woman. Let me be accepting and sisterly, loving and warm. Show me what it means to be a woman. Now, though this is off topic, and arguably ironic, I must point out that I now have a girlfriend. It’s kinda funny, come on…

Anyhow, I started to listen to women talk and watch women walk and I dropped my hater-guard and attitude and I began to realize how beautiful we are! We are amazing, powerful creatures! Now, in my growing and learning, I may have become a bit elitist but you’ve gotta think about CHILDBIRTH, and  dancers-yes, men make great dancers but they don’t look like we do dancing!-and mothers in general, and the nuturing that only we can provide.

I am SO PROUD  to be a woman and tonight-or this morning-while looking through my “facebook” friends I had this warm, apple pie kinda feeling and I felt so grateful for the beautiful, inspiring, warm, loving, intelligent, talented women I have gotten to know. You will ALWAYS have a place in my heart and just know, I’m ALWAYS thinking: I wish she was like RUBY EDWARDS, mysterious while open, cool as water but hot like fire, or LAURA FIELD would never leave a girl hangin’ like that! Where’s your heart?!  Step it up! Be a true friend! I have thoughts like: God, she’d be so much more pleasant if she had a tenth of JAN-EMBER HART’S charm and grace. I’m always wishing that one day, I’ll be at starbucks and I’ll hear a giggle and it’ll be someone who reminds me of RACHEL ANDERSON(the most fun and scariest part of me) or LATASHA MONFORD(my heart that’s reserved for family only, my loyalty) and I’ll end up talking to her like I’ve known her since I was a child, and I won’t be able to stop because the exchange is intoxicating!

I love you, AMANI WRIGHT(you are my strength, my home), ESTHER PATTON(you are my fearlessness), MORAYO ORIJA(you are the funniest part of me), ASHLEY ELLENBURG(you are my groundedness, my spritualily), RATASHA HUFF(you are my rawness, the me behind the scenes), MICHELLE NGUYEN-I mean, DULIN; )(you are the purest, most youthful part of me), KAALA SMITH(you represent what keeps me out here dreaming and fulfilling what I’ve wanted since I was a kid), TIFFANEY MOORE(my inner peace and acceptance)!

God put you all in my life to teach me that I was beautiful partly BECAUSE I am a woman. I will never be able to explain what my heart feels like at this moment or how high my blood pressure just shot up thinking about your love and pure brilliance.

Thank you for sharing. Thank you for caring and teaching and loving and being your beautiful selves. This is my bow to you.


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. amanivernell
    Jun 01, 2010 @ 05:19:49

    Sister!!! Because I don’t address you by your name anymore, clearly! haha
    Just know that I have been trying to overcome my hater gene! It annoys be when I see girls and I hate on them for whatever reason; too blonde, too ghetto, to loose, too confident.. and at the end of the day, it’s what works for them!! So I try to look at them through the eyes of sisterhood rather than being threatened, or whatever makes me think the things I do..
    We are truly soooo beautyfull as women, and it’s a gift for us to actually see that in one another.. and your shout-outs are amazing and heart-felt..and genuine!! You, Ayana, are my self-love and strength.. a person who helps me feel at home, since I very rarely feel that way…


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